Training Days- No, Denzel was not there.

From July 1st to the 10th I was in Colorado Springs training with OC International. God was truly preparing me spiritually, emotionally and even physically. Here are some highlights:

* I finally have a more accurate view of a "missionary." I've never called myself a missionary because in my mind, missionaries were this elite group that rarely sinned and were way holier than I could ever be. After listening to sermons each day about grace, I finally realized that missionaries are not elite, they are the same as all God-loving and God-fearing Christians and need Jesus in a desperate way. The two main ideas of the sermons were as follows: "Cheer up, we're worse than we think." and "But cheer up, the gospel is greater than we ever imagined."

Indeed God showed me parts of my dark heart that I would rather not see but by seeing these dark parts and acknowledging my sins, I can see how badly I truly do need grace and Jesus. I love these "mountaintop experiences" when God is so near. One really neat exercise we did after learning about justification through faith rather than our works, was to put our names in the blanks and I encourage you to do the same. (this was especially powerful for me, having tried to earn God's love by my works for so long)

So I quit being a "law man" so that I ________________ could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I ____________ identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I __________ have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I ___________ appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I ___________ am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine", but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I ______________ am not going to go back on that. Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I ____________ refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.

(Galatians 2:19-21, The Message)

* Another highlight: meeting incredible new and old (not a reference to age!) missionaries. Judy Dixon was one of my amazing roommates who promised to, "pray behind my back." She lived through the Civil Rights Movement in the South and has a truly remarkable life story. I also had many interesting conversations with Jim and Sue who lived in Kenya for a long time and gave me many helpful tips for "surviving Africa such as: "If you make too much eye contact with men you are saying that you are a prostitute." "Greet every person in a room when you enter." "Bring anti-perspirant and chocolate chips." (However, writing this in Africa on only my second day and in the middle of winter, I can say that even anti-perspirant is not strong enough for me and I developed some sweet pit stains. I realized that this was because I decided to have a push-up contest with orphan boy but still, I didn't think I'd sweat so much.- yes, of course I won) "You will probably get Malaria but it's no big deal." And finally, my favorite, "You're not a real missionary until you've been robbed." (I'm pretty sure that will happen considering I forgot my purse at the restaurant today- don't worry, someone grabbed it for me. Gosh, I thought dying my hair brown would cut down on these "blonde moments." )

* Another highlight was doing team-building activities such as white-water rafting and hiking Pikes Peak. Rafting was sweet although I got so hot, I contemplated "falling in" on purpose to cool off. Hiking was an amazing time spent with sweet Jesus. Being a Hardeman (which means my competitive nature is almost sickening) I hiked with the boys in the front. (Self-named, "team renegade.") I hung with them for the first 10 miles and was feeling pretty proud of myself and then I hit a wall and could not keep up. The boys trudged ahead like mountain goats and I struggled up the last 3 miles praying the whole way.

While struggling to breathe during the last miles, Pilgrims Progress came to mind and the hike became an allegory for my Christian walk. Here are some of the analogies:

1- I often get "puffed up" with pride, thinking I can rely on my own strength. I literally puffed up about half way up the mountain when my fingers became giant sausages and I could hardly open my back pack. The picture does not do it justice,
2- I must constantly turn to Jesus and ask Him to fill me with His strength. Since no one else was near, I was literally calling out to Jesus to make my legs move at the end.

3- There will be unexpected obstacles along the way. For instance, I was not informed I would be trekking through snow! I once decided to try my own path instead of stepping in others' footprints and sunk to my knee and got a shoe full of snow. (yet another analogy)
4. The walk would be impossible without the "Living Water." Peter, one of my fellow hikers, thought he might run out of water so he filled one bottle with stream water which was guaranteed to give him the big D. Luckily, he never had to use it but I secretly wanted him to- not due to animosity, merely curiosity.
5. We need the living water but we also need nourishment to finish. I had to force feed myself a cliff bar in order to have enough energy to finish.

6. Fellowship is necessary! The first 10 miles were a breeze mainly because I had the great company of "team renegade." 7. God gives us the tools we need when we need them. I was beginning to slow at mile 8 so I started praying for a walking stick. I needed the extra boost but I also wanted to pretend to be Moses. Does anyone else play this game?

8. If you try to look too far into the future, you will grow overwhelmed, so focus on today. God knows what struggles we will face and gives us the strength we need for today and tells us not to worry about the future. There were many parts of the path where I literally had to focus just on the step ahead of me. If I looked a few yards up, the path seemed to disappear. Also, if I looked to the top and how far I still had to climb, I would grow discouraged. Whereas, if I looked around me, I was in awe by the amazing views and how far I had already come.








9. We won't survive without resting every once in awhile. Towards the end, I was resting every 2 minutes.

10. Lastly, the path was narrow and challenging, but the reward was amazing. The summit view was amazing. As you finish the hike, the "cloud of witnesses" at the top cheer you on and it is an amazing feeling. Being a bit emotional, I cried as I finished. This should come at no surprise however since I cried in the home alarm system commercial.