Did Jesus Get Homesick?

I am told by veteran missionaries that I am currently going through the stage of "culture shock." Don't worry, I haven't been electrocuted (well, that's a lie, I have- I still haven't figured out this whole "different power wattage" concept and have blown up every appliance I brought which helps explain my frizzy hairy-dos and numerous french braids) but that's besides the point. Culture shock is an unseen force that silently seeps in after 2 to 4 months and slowly sucks the life out of you- much like dementors and junior highers. Naive and idealistic Katie pompously assumed she would not go through this stage because well, I'm Katie, I'll never get hurt, I don't need any one's help, and I certainly won't experience this so-called "culture shock" because I am too strong and too smart to succumb to it. Ha! I must give God some good laughs. Really, if He wore pants, I think he’d pee them seeing my thoughts. (sorry if that was blasphemous but I truly do believe our almighty, most holy God has a great sense of humor) I had thought that culture shock meant you start to resent the culture and country you are living in and I have definitely not experienced this, nor do I think I will. However, I was recently enlightened that being surrounded by the unfamiliar and by unseen stressors, I have been drained merely by living in a new culture since Mozambique really is my home now and not a place I'm visiting. For some time I was feeling down and not sure why and then feeling even worse about feeling down because I'm so blessed and have no reason to complain. Now that I know that what I'm experiencing is normal, I am immensely encouraged. Unfortunately, the veterans have yet to enlighten me on how to get out of culture shock but just knowing that "this too will pass" enables me to laugh when I want to cry. Just this week Fredy asked why I was so happy when in reality, I was having a tough day and wasn't feeling very joyful. They didn't believe my lie that, "I am always happy" so, (I have no idea why I said this) I said, "I took a huge happy pill at lunch." Why, Katie? Why? This of course turned into, "Miss Katie is on drugs!! We're telling our parents!" Whoops.

In the midst of the "unfamiliar," God continues to bless me with "familiar" things which rejuvenate and encourage me. It's amazing how comforting coke, (not the drug!) Fruit Loops, and Gilmore Girls can be. The other huge comfort and true gift from God has been my experiences with children. I've found that children in India, the Philippines, the States, and Mozambique are all incredibly similar and thus, an immense comfort to me wherever I am.

I recently downloaded a Third Day song which included part of the old song, “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” which I’ve had on replay for about 3 days and will probably be sick of next week since I’ve played it so often. But for now, these simple words have also been a sweet encouragement to me:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in his wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of his glory and his grace

Going to the Iris orphanage, my attention was immediately taken off of myself and my perspective was readjusted so the things of this earth grew dim. Lindsay had talked about this orphanage a lot since she had been to Mozambique 3 times prior to visit the orphanage so I was excited to go meet the people I had heard about. When I was younger I had always dreamed of starting an orphanage in Africa. (Well it was a toss-up between that and opening “Katie’s Coffee and Cookies.” I don’t understand the latter desire since I hate coffee and business; I think I just liked the alliteration. Don’t laugh at my dreams, Katie Butler had high aspirations of becoming a grocery bagger.) I was very disappointed in high school when I took an aptitude test which told me I should become a librarian or a historian because I thought the test was saying I have no social skills and should stick to books. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have been so upset- I do love to read and I love history and can be anti-social at times so I guess it wasn’t that far off. However, I was really hoping the test would say, “You should open an orphanage in Africa.” Perhaps that wasn’t one of the options. My point is, my dreams have come true and I get to be in Africa and visit orphanages and I loved every second of it. The picture of above is of Lindsay and myself (duh) in front of a wall at the orphanage. I'm going to beat Katie to the punch and point out my awkward fist on Lindsay's shoulder- my only explanation is that I have to try to hide these "man hands."

When we first arrived at Iris, I met some of the high school orphan boys and immediately felt at home at Iris. The boys speak English and are good friends with Lindsay so they trusted me and we walked with a group of the older orphan boys to the local pool. Vogner and Adrian wanted to hear all about the girls at CAM (the school I teach at) and I had a great time giggling with them about which girls they wanted to date and what good qualities the boys had that I could relay to my female students. Adrian wanted me to be sure to mention that he can do back flips. Apparently a common pasttime at the orphanage involves getting out an old tire, sprinting to it and doing flips off of it. You will soon find out that Lindsay is great at taking "candid" pictures and here she took one of us walking to the pool.

Back at the orphanage, the younger kids were let out to play on the playground and somehow I ended up carrying them and spinning as fast I could until they screamed to stop. (this was in Portuguese so I didn't know what they were saying at first until I saw a very panicked face and nearly was puked on- that would have made for a great story:) After spinning for quite some time, I was sweaty and dizzy and ended up collapsing (luckily not while I was carrying any kids) and found myself covered in sand and cracking up as the little boys jumped on me, insisting on more. Why is it that spinning is so much fun at that age? Actually, I do know the appeal- it’s the same reason one of my favorite pasttimes is rolling down grassy hills.

One of the boys, Israel, managed to crawl onto my shoulders while I was collapsed in the sand catching my breath and then refused to get down. The younger ones didn’t speak English but you really don’t have to talk much to play at that age. Something about having a laughing kid on my shoulders made me forget about all this "culture shock" nonsense. He gave me a tour of the orphanage although I only understood a few words as he bossed me around pointing at different places to "trot" to- yes, I was being a horse.

Lindsay and I joined the boys in the mess hall for dinner which was giant helpings of rice with some sort of “topping.” The kids at the orphanage get plenty of food but I think I would lose weight if I stayed there. "You were so lucky to get mono....I know- that was like the best diet ever." If you know what movie this is from you are a kindred spirit. If you are male and know the quote, I am worried for you. Oh and for the record, Lindsay and I did not plan to dress alike- it just keeps happening that we end up dressing like twins. This used to happen with my roommate Lesley all the time (although sometimes I waited to see what she put on in the morning and then copied her-not sure why I found this so amusing but considering Heidi and I still wore matching Easter dresses until she got married, I think I just like dressing like others)

After dinner I had a wonderful time sitting and chatting with Pie and Adrian and trying to determine who made a better monkey face and trying to convince Adrian to be ugly.

Iris houses over a thousand short-term visitors each year so they had nice visiting quarters where we slept and the following morning we went to church at the orphanage. There are over 300 kids at the orphanage and people from town also come to the service. The worship entailed the most joyful singing and dancing that I have ever seen in church. These kids are orphans; they have so little compared to me and to many children in America, but play some loud music and they dance, clap and sing like their world is free of worries. We stood in the front in the "mosh pit," if you will, amongst the wild youngsters eager to be held, hold hands and dance with us. Those of you who have seen me dance (which luckily is a small number) may be thinking, "Oh no, she probably frightened the poor orphans." They however, didn't seem to mind my lack of rhythm. I noticed one boy who I nicknamed "cowboy" in my head because of his flannel shirt who wasn't dancing as freely and carelessly as the others. He caught my eye and then did some odd footwork which I later learned is part of the way native Mozambicans dance. He was dirtier than the other children and looked sad and burdened which made him stick out in the midst of singing and laughing children from Iris. I took his little hand and tried to copy his dance moves and we became fast friends without ever speaking a word. I later discovered that my lil cowboy wasn't one of the orphans which explains why he was dirtier and more reserved. However, when we went to catch the bus to leave that afternoon, I saw him across the road with a group of children and he yelled and waved with such enthusiasm I nearly cried. I waved so much I scared the locals with my flapping, grandma-esqe arms jiggling wildly. The little girl in the picture with her arm around me was one of the orphans who insisted I dance while carrying her which was wonderful- for the first two songs. By song number three, my arms were shaking- she was definitely not malnourished. My cowboy stuck by my side hand-in-hand, the whole time though rarely smiling. Lindsay snuck a picture of us listening to the message. (or rather, him playing with my watch and me pretending to listen but not understanding Portuguese so day-dreaming instead. I do a great "fake listener" face.)

Click here to watch a video clip of the singing at dancing at the church service.

There were numerous performances before the sermon which included an interpretive dance by a group of precious girls. Who doesn't love a good interpretive dance? It was awesome.

After church, Lindsay and I hung out with some boys who were fascinated by our giant sunglasses and insistant that they get to wear them. Aren't they adorable? My friend Jenny's husband wants to have a black child (not sure how that's gonna happen since Jenny is as white as they come) and looking at these precious faces, I can relate with Chris' desire:)
God is so merciful to me and He truly has "gone before me" as He promised to and I am consistantly delighted and surprised by His timing and provision. He knew exactly when I would go through "culture shock" and knew that during that very week, I would be playing with these beatiful children who reminded me to "turn my eyes upon Jesus." God also answered a prayer that many of you prayed for me- to supply a true friend here in Mozambique. Some of you may have been praying that God bring to CAM my future husband and though that certainly didn't happen, he did bring a life-long friend. Lindsay is the only person who truly can understand everything I'm experiencing right now because she is experiencing it too! I love how God does that- how He brings people into our path who have been through similar struggles or experiences so we can encourage and uplift each other. I was marveling on this blessing during one of my daily walks and God brought to mind the passage we are studying right now in Bible study in Hebrews about how Jesus is the Great High Priest. I love the following verses:

Hebrews 4: 14-16

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

I am so grateful that God brought Lindsay since she can relate, understand and encourage, but I haven't been grateful enough that Jesus does the same and more (no offense Lindsay) I don't think about this enough. I hate that it doesn't daily blow me away that Jesus came to earth for me- it really is so radical and I am not nearly grateful enough. I've read the above verses before and thought to myself, "Yes, Jesus understands what it means to be human but does he really understand MY problems? He dealt with much larger issues than my stresses and worries so does he truly understand my problems or are mine too small?" As I ponder this question again, God has answered and must be thinking, "You moron Katie." Well- I don't know if He thinks like that but I can be quite moronic and dense at times.

So Jesus, sometimes I'm lonely over here in Mozambique; you can't really relate with loniless can you? Hmmmm...let's see, he came to a planet where not a single soul could fully relate with him and understand his burdens. His family didn't believe him, he was constantly criticized by Pharisees, and he knew his friends would all betray him. I think he may know a thing or two about being lonely.

Well Jesus, you didn't experience culture shock like I am. Hmmmm...He left heaven and moved to earth. I'm no scholar but I think that qualifies for a pretty significant change in culture.

Ok, but do you have any idea what it is like to be homesick? Ha!!! I can only imagine the homesickness Jesus must have felt. He left the PERFECT, LOVING FATHER. He left the glory of reigning as king in heaven to wander through the muck of this earth. Yeah, I think he was probably a little homesick.

Praise the Lord! I have a Savior who has experienced my burdens (times a thousand) and can truly understand and sympathize with me. He really does understand what I'm going through and doesn't negate my worries as petty and small- he understands. Jesus understands. He went through it. Why didn't I see it before? Or rather, why didn't I believe it? So I look to Jesus for wisdom in how to deal with my culture shock and missing my family. What did he do? He spent much time alone praying and then he poured himself out; healing, comforting, teaching and loving on the world. I will spend the rest of my life striving to imitate Him.