The Best Medicine

Whether it's a stifled chuckle, a fit of giggles, or a wheezing, side-splitting, "I-can't-breath" belly laugh that hurts and often leads to wet pants, I love laughing- even though I've been accused of sounding like "Woody-woodpecker." I heard that if you are having a rough day, you should fake laugh until you are really laughing because it will make you feel better- it really is like medicine. One of my qualifications for my future husband is that he has to make me laugh; and not just the polite, sympathy giggle. I want to have abs of steel from laughing, I want milk to shoot out of my nose and risk peeing my pants in public because I'm laughing so hard. That being said, here is my list of 15 Reasons I've been laughing it up in Maputo:

1) My ninth and tenth graders are hilarious. I wanted a class picture of them but the shots came out blurry because I was doing the "silent, shoulder-shaking laugh" which I've inherited from my mom and her sisters. I wanted a "normal" shot first but right when I said, "class picture," Zac and Coleson started buttoning their collars to the very top and hiked their pants up past their belly-buttons. The part that cracks me up is that if you didn't know them, you wouldn't know they were joking because sadly, they are fitting the stereotype of many "Mks" or missionary kids. The following is supposed to be the "normal" picture.
Here's the "goofy" shot. I can't decide who makes me laugh more, the "Mk dorks," cross-eyed Marie or too-tough Domingos who is normally always smiling.

2) Babysitting Swedish kids. "Babysitters' Club Meets Maputo!" (any other Babysitters' Club fans? I used to pretend to be Dawn because I thought her name was so cool) Lindsay, Lisa and I tag-teamed watching 4 precious Swedes- luckily they all spoke English except for Elvira- muffled chuckle listening to Lisa read her a bed-time story in Swedish. I've heard it said that if you work with kids, you never fully grow up and I can testify that this is true. When the parents left, I transformed into a fifth grader again (I fear I may have peaked in 5Th grade- that really was a great year for me) and started moving furniture so we could play soccer in the house. I made the rule, "no kicking the ball high" and then immediately broke it since I have no control of the ball and I nearly broke a lamp. Lindsay, being older and wiser, suggested "crab-soccer" which was less dangerous and a great workout.
We went to the pool and played in the water until I ran out of, "Can you do this....?" ideas. Lindsay is the craft-queen and kept Victor and Elvira entertained while I went home to change my wet pants. How many of you are assuming I peed my pants? I didn't- I put my shorts on before my suit dried and sweet, little Elvira was the first to point and laugh at my sopping wet rear. After making the world's longest hop scotch course, we played down-by-the-banks. I'm not sure why I love this game so much but since it isn't socially acceptable to play with other "adults," whenever I am with kids, I make them play.
3) Henrik taught me a new way to distort my face. I think I may be a little too entertained with ugly faces and a digital camera. So proud of my new found ugliness, I imparted my wisdom to Coleson. I am his teacher, and my job is to teach valuable lessons and in my opinion, it is very valuable to know how to make an ugly face. If you'd like to try this at home, which I recommend you do, make the horse sound where your lips flap together.The picture on the left is Coleson preparing to make the horse sound and his side-kick Zac joining the picture. This duo makes me laugh all the time at inappropriate times.

4) A homeless man glared at me. This may seem odd to be on a list of, "reasons I laugh" and I know I probably shouldn't laugh at homeless people; it ranks up there with making jokes about babies so let me explain. This man is a literal "hobo" in the sense that he carries a big stick over his shoulder with a plastic bag on the end. Actually, now I must confess that I'm not 100% sure hobos are the ones who carry the bags, but you get the point yeah? Sometimes he collects cigarette butts and puts them in his plastic bag. I see him all over the place and most days walking home from school we pass each other. He had never looked up and always seemed to be lost in thought, eyes glued to the ground as he trudged on; that is, until the day when I was opening staring at him, having deep thoughts about how this man could be an angel in disguise, and right as we passed he looked up, caught my glance, and squinted his eyes into a glare and his lips curled into a snarl and I jumped and gasped. He was not an angel. I don't think angels snarl- at least I hope they don't.

5. Running with Lindsay and Gizmo. For the record, I am a big klutz. Constantly stumbling, tripping, and falling, I've grown accustomed to the "fall" and find it hilarious every time. Combine klutziness, a dog who enjoys cutting people off with the sidewalks of Maputo and you have a deadly combination. There are huge piles of concrete and rocks all over the sidewalks along with coke cans and other random obstacles that make our runs more like an obstacle course. The most frightening are the giant gaping holes that suddenly appear on the sidewalk. (I often imagine the day I will step into one of these holes by accident, which are at least 7 feet deep- the image alone makes me laugh) On the last few runs, Lindsay and I have both rolled our ankles and on one run in particular, my boat-sized feet kept getting in the way and caught on cracks, sending me flying and squealing. I have yet to actually hit the ground with my hands but I know my time is coming- I've already informed Lindsay she has my permission to laugh when it does. (I fell when running with Heidi and Jackson in the States and although I bounced on the asphalt, I found it hilarious- Heidi on the other hand was ready to call an ambulance. ) Another reason for laughter on the runs happened on our last run. Lindsay was on the "outside lane" which was in the street while the good friend that I am was hogging the sidewalk. A giant dump truck came up right beside her and practically grazed her arm- I'll never forget her face of shock and alarm. Just a few moments later we ran past a giant puddle and wouldn't you know it, right as we ran past it, a car came and sent a muddy tidal wave raining over Lindsay. The side of her face covered in mud and who knows what else (I'm sure lots of urine!), Lindsay turned to me and I couldn't contain my laughter. Neither could all the Mozambicans near us. We happened to be running through a really poor area of town at that moment and they did not hide their amusement at seeing Lindsay covered in mud. The following are pictures that Lindsay took during one of our runs so y'all can see our route. Just so you know, I didn't know that I was in the pictures- every time she paused, I did too, thinking I wasn't blocking her view.

I'll make this one larger so you can get a good laugh at my face as I tried to get out of the picture.I love the randomness of Maputo. In the picture above you see a music video being shot. Below is a timer shot of Lindsay and I doing our routine of post-run lunges in the front yard. While the red light was blinking, I was debating, "smile at the camera or candid? smile or candid?" I went for awkward face instead.
6) Dr. Meyers, the new school director, tells the cheesiest jokes. I'm all about cheese- the real food and the jokes. I love a good pun and this man is full of them. The first day I met him he asked if I was feeling like an Egyptian Mummy? I tried hard to make some type of historical connection but came up with nothing and he said, "you know, because you're pressed for time." Some people groan at jokes like this but I eat em up. Yes, jokes are edible.

7) My nephew cracks me up on the web cam. Heidi brings me into his room when he wakes up from his naps sometimes so I can see him standing in his crib, grinning ear to ear revealing his new teeth. Since he learned about the "high five" I put my hand up to the camera and he reached out and touched the computer screen. I was talking to Heidi the other day and Jackson, her dog, was lying on her bed with her. Out of nowhere, Jackson puked all over her bed and I got to witness it all- I was way too entertained. You know Heidi loves this dog too much because she just said, "Ohhh Jackson, are you OK?" The dog just hurled all over her white sheets and she wasn't the least bit grossed out or upset! Motherhood must teach patience.

8) Gizmo sneaks onto the furniture once we've gone to sleep. Mada usually puts the cushions up so Gizmo won't leave his hair on the couches but she forgot the other night. My friend Sabina happened to be staying over and we were up late and when we went into the living room, caught Gizmo in the act.
9) There was an explosion in the computer lab. My 9th and 10th graders were researching Islam and Zac and Coleson were calling each other Muslim sounding names. In the middle of their joking, Zac accidentally knocked over the transformer which started smoking and immediately filled the room with a strange stench. Zac quickly unplugged the transformer which gave him a little shock and crashed all the computers. The class turned to me and what did I do? I laughed. I then went and interrupted the biology teacher who knows about computers and told him we had an explosion in the computer lab. My politically incorrect students joked all week about how when Zac got a Muslim name, he started blowing things up. I know I shouldn't laugh- I should be offended and correct them but I still have some growing up to do. Speaking of politically incorrect, my seniors were working on vocabulary and coming up with synonyms for moronic and Matheus, aka "the mouth" shouts out, "retarded!" Again, I know I shouldn't have laughed- that is very offensive, but he said it in all innocence and I couldn't help but let the giggles loose. I lied. He's not also known as the mouth. I just made that up right now but he does have quite a large mouth and tendency to say inappropriate things.

10) Speaking of Matheus, he and his brother, Igor are another reason I already have laugh lines. These boys came 2 months late to school because they were in Brazil and I've been cracking up in class ever since they got here. Igor is a little "smart Alec" as my mom would say and has a mouth full of metal but constantly has a huge smile and is always laughing. He's often laughing at his older brother Mateus, being a clown.




11) I got to talk to Iron Well via the webcam and skype. Iron Well, for those of you who don't know, is my accountability group from college. Yes, we named ourselves and it is completely normal. Since graduating from Westmont, we have an annual get together in October. It's a wonderful reminder each year that I do have friends since most of my friends seem to live out of state or far away (except for you, Stef!) I was feeling a bit homesick since I knew they were all having fun in Arizona without me but then they called me and had a web cam too so I could see them all. Huddled in a mini-van, parked outside a house to steal their internet, I got to talk the six of them and it was great. I even got a full moon but I won't say from who. Or is it whom? If you thought I was a bit odd, you should meet these girls. Here we are in New York last year.
12) Any time spent with Rafael ends in laughter. During prayer meetings or get-togethers at our house, I usually end up hunting for pine cones and watching cartoons with Hafa. The other night, a visiting team was here and the discussion turned to politics in Zimbabwe which I am interested in, but instead I chose to watch Scooby-Doo meets Batman in the other room with Hafa. At this same event, he suddenly clawed at my chest and then held a closed fist out for me to see. "Why'd you do that Hafa?" "I took Jesus out of your heart. Look, I have him right here in my hand," he replied with a mischievious grin. When sitting next to him in the car a few days ago, he looked intently at my knee and then felt it and said, "Kate, what are those spikes coming out of your legs???" At least he wasn't asking about a zit.

14) Reading, To Hate Like This is to be Happy Forever, A Thoroughly Obsessive, Intermittently Uplifting, and Occasionally Unbiased Account of the Duke-North Carolina Basketball Rivarly. The leader of our bible study lent it to me and I made the mistake of starting it while my kids were taking a test. I couldn't hold in the chuckles and had to put the book down. I also made the mistake of recommending it to a student to read for a book report before I got to chapter two and discovered some unexpected swearing. Whoops. If you like basketball even a little bit, you will enjoy this book. Living in the Hardeman household, I'm finding that all these past basketball players and games are locked in my long-term memory which makes it even more enjoyable. While I'm making book recommendations (I know, how nerdy am I?) I must implore you to read the 3- part series of books by Ted Decker called, Black, Red, and White. They are Christian fiction novels but the unique story weaves in the gospel story and has made me view Jesus, God and sin in a new way. I would sometimes read these books rather than doing my devotions because I felt like it was a devotional time. They are incredibly suspenseful, well-written, and thought-provoking. You will not be disappointed!!! My friend Lisa started reading them after I raved on and on about the first book and we had many a conversations about the books and the analogies. We're proud to be nerdy book-worms.

15) Watching Lindsay get drooled on in Shiparango. Lindsay came with Mada and I to the village church a few Sundays ago. I mentioned the baby Suzannah in a past entry and how she is Vander's age exactly. Apparently she is teething big time and without pacifiers, she sticks rocks in her mouth to suck on. She was fascinated with Lindsay and sat on her lap trying to chew on rocks while Lindsay tried to remove the rocks. The precious little one was drooling constantly and it formed pools on Lindsay's skirt. Being such a supportive friend, I watched and laughed to myself, secretly thankful it was not me. After the service, we went to the huts of 2 women in the church who have malaria and prayed for them. Before we left, I wanted to give a treat to Lorenzo and Martina. I feel a special bond with these two since they've stuck by my side since the first Sunday and are the only 2 that are old enough to go to school but can't since they don't have relatives in the city. I wanted to give them a little treat so I got out the pretzels I had brought along as a snack. (We used to go to always make 7-11 runs before "big church" growing up so I'm used to the idea of bringing food to church) I started giving handfuls of pretzels to the children and then looked up and noticed all of the men and women from the church were forming a line to get their handful of pretzels. They were so appreciative for a few salty snacks and it reminded me yet again how blessed I am. I'd love to say that God performed a miracle and although I only had a few pretzels, He mutiplied them. However, I am a bit of a pig and had brought an abnormally large bag of pretzels in my abnormally large purse so no miracle was needed:)