Top 10 Signs that I've Adjusted to Life in Maputo
10. I've mastered the art of the mosquito net. Gizmo has broken the bamboo that
holds the net so it is a sad little net but I've figured out how to tuck it into my bed to keep those malaria-carrying beasts away from me. Not one bite yet! If you believe in jinxes as strongly as my brothers' do, you'll be expecting me to get bitten tonight but I am convinced my blood must be bitter or perhaps it's because of # 9.9. My b.o. is beginning to smell like the locals. Seriously. I thought b.o. was this universal thing and it would always smell the same, but oh no, Mozambicans have a special scent that I have grown so fond of that I seem to have picked up the scent myself. I forgot deodorant one day and after a run realized that the stench I was smelling was myself and I smelled like a local!
8. I can order food in Portuguese. Of course this was the first thing I learned to say in Portuguese since 1- I eat all the time and 2- It's really easy. "Eu quero....por favor." I lied, the first thing I learned to say was Obrigada (thank you) because on average I say, "nao obrigada" 47 times a day. Nao obrigada, I don't want your sandals, paintings, sunglasses, wooden sculptures, movies, nuts (pass it on), jewelry, plants, tomatoes, cell phones, power cords, skirts, or my favorite offer- white bunnies. People walk around the city selling these items and I must have a giant sign on my forehead that says, "I want to buy whatever you have!" I say, "nao obrigada" so quickly that I wonder if anyone has just asked me the time and I said, "No thank you."
7. I don't notice the trash as much anymore. This was one of the first things that you can't help but notice when you drive into the city of
6. I'm no longer terrified when we get pulled over by the police at night. It has happened every single time we've gone out after dark because they are, "looking for bandits" aka bribes. The first time it happened I freaked out a little. (only in my head, on the exterior I was, "cool and collected Katie." man I love alliteration) I'm afraid of police in the States too- whenever I see one I feel so guilty and get paranoid. My paranoia is totally justified here though. Talking to some other "locals" they said they would rather be stopped by bandits and car jacked than stopped by the police because at least they can get insurance if the car is stolen. If you get the wrong police man on the other hand, you might have issues and end up in jail. Madalena however is a feisty one and holds her own with these bride-taking policemen. The first night the guy asked for 500 Metacais(20 bucks) because "the light above the license plate is out." Hmmmm..funny how you pulled us over while standing in the street in front of us and never saw the license in the back. Mada got out of the car and pointed out that we did indeed have a light and she would under no circumstances pay the money. The man replied, "Come on, it's only 500." She joked with the guy and he realized he couldn't mess with this tiny, Brazilian woman and let us go.
5. I can understand some Portuguese! I can't say much back but at least I'm not as clueless. I attribute this to my lessons with Norma, my Mozambican tutor, and watching TV with Portug
uese subtitles. The other day I understood what the plumber said to me in Portuguese! This sweet old man knows no English and since I was the only one home, explained to me in Portuguese what was going on with our sink and I understood his main points! Of course I didn't get everything but I was nodding my head so much and saying, "Ooh, OK" that I fooled him into believing I was fluent already. When he said he'd be back at catorce (14) I blew my cover because I still am not adjusted to army time and had to count on my fingers to figure out that 14 is 2 pm. That wasn't a language problem though, just showing my poor mental math abilities. I also understood the directions in Portuguese on how to make the jello. I know what you're thinking- "who doesn't know how to make jello? Add hot water, then cold water and refrigerate." For an Amalia Badelia in the kitchen however, this was a big accomplishment for me. Does no one else crave jello? I ate the entire pan in one sitting. That Cosby fella was onto something genius.4. I can communicate with Teresa, our empragada. Being a guard or empragada seems to be a very popular job here. An empragada cleans the home and can also cook and take care of kids if necessary. (No, Teresa is not in charge of taking care of me although I do act like a child at times) Teresa went through the whole house with me the first week telling me how to say objects in Portuguese and now I can hold a semi-conversation with her. Granted I can really only hold one conversation with all people that consists of, "Hi, how are you?..See you tomorrow" and this may not even be deemed a whole conversation, but it's better than nothing. I am very grateful for her although I am kinda awkward about someone else other than my mom washing my undies:) Too much info?
3. I am no longer surprised by the poverty. I am still saddened by it and definitely not numb to it, but it is not such a shock to see any more since I'm surrounded by it every day. There are many many men, women and children missing a leg because of the land mines planted during the war which ended in the nineties. There is also such rampant disease which has left many Mozambicans handi-capped. These people sit or stand on the dividers in the middle of the roads and walk to your window at red lights asking for money. In Santa Barbara there were many homeless people on street corners, but this is an entirely new degree of suffering and poverty. Even 5 year old Rafael complained to his mom the other day that he wanted to go back to the States. She asked why and he said, "There's too many poor people here." We talked at the last bible study about how James instructed Christians not to show favoritism to the rich or powerful. And if we do show favoritism and value the lives of the rich in the eyes of this world, we are sinning and are as guilty as murderers of breaking the law. I was convicted thinking about how although I feel terrible for these people, I also lump them together in my mind as the, "suffering" and seem to place less value on their individual lives if I don't them. Yes there are many suffering people here, but God loves each and every one of them. I love how in James 2:5 it says, "...Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?" They are poor in our eyes because they have little money, but true riches has nothing to do with money.
2. I can j-walk without peeing my pants! I didn't actually pee my pants while crossing in the past, but it did used to freak me out. (how many of you are now thinking about the time Jenny made me pee my pants in the library?) Crosswalks aren't used here and lights mean nothing. To see if cars are coming you have to stand dangerously close to the oncoming cars. This is especially dangerous for me since I've always had this demented desire to put my foot under the tire of moving cars to see how badly it will hurt. Today I walked to
1. And the # 1 sign that I've adjusted to life in Maputo- drum roll please....someone asked ME for directions! I've been working on my "confident strut." You know, the walk that sends the message, "Don't mess with me. I'm on a mission. I own this town." Well some silly Portuguese tourists fell for my trick and stopped me on my way to the park to ask directions. Of course I had no idea where their hotel was or any of the streets they mentioned but that is besides the point- they thought I was a local!
Now for a mystery video clip. All I will say is that this is how I often spend my free time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlKKM67hEiM
1 comment:
Love the countdown and the clip at the end. I hate it when I miss one of your posts but then instantly love it when there's more than one to read. I get completely immersed in your world for a few moments. I just love it.
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