Not Home Yet

As I crossed the border from South Africa into Mozambique, sweat poured down my face and trickled down my back (and let's be honest, into my crack as well- such a gross feeling), soaking my shirt and leaving me with large pit stains. Not due to nerves or hyper-active sweat glands, I was dripping because the Mozambican sun seems 20 degrees hotter than in South Africa. Pushed, shoved and jostled about in the customs line, I was tossed about in the sea of sweaty Africans and I inhaled the intense body odor like a sweet perfume." Ahhhhh....feels wonderful to be back!" I thought. (no sarcasm here) It still baffles me how I can feel so at home in and love two such radically different worlds. While I was at home in Brea I also thought, "Ahhhh....feels wonderful to be back!" (yes, apparently I think "ahhhhh" more often than most) Here are some highlights from my trip home.

I arrived home on Christmas Eve after thee longest trip ever and was exhausted. (partly due to travel and partly due to the fact that instead of sleeping on the plane rides, I chose to watch movies and TV shows the entire time) Every Christmas Eve we open a new pair of pajamas and this year all the boys were decked out in their UPS uniforms. (see picture and please take note of my dad's super long toes. Unfortunately, these were hereditary) Our cousin Bennett arrived from Oregon just in time for the festivities and we all had a blast with him. Trent opened the game "Dance Dance Revolution" (also known as "dance dance O'Rama according to my mom) and while the boys played downstairs, I "rested my eyes" upstairs and was out cold. (man I miss that bed and that cat- is it a little creepy that my mom takes pictures of me sleeping?)I wonder if in heaven every morning will feel like Christmas morning. (or if we sleep at all for that matter) I still feel like a little kid, filled with excitement and anticipation when I awake because I love Christmas day so much. The Hardeman "kids" are ages 27, 25, and 23 yet we still all get excited about opening stockings:) I spent the entire day with my family and in my pajamas- does life get any better? I was a bit bummed that I had no gifts to give since my bags had still not yet arrived (I hate you Delta) but loved just being home and going through our family traditions. I love how Vander looks just as excited about his fire truck as he does about the little bear ornaments


Van was obviously the center of attention this Christmas and his joy and enthusiasm were contagious.


For the observant and bored, here's a game: can you find the subtle differences in each of the following 3 consecutive pictures?
One part of Christmas day that I always love is relaxing as a family after all the presents are opened. Can't remember what we were watching on the tube but I'm guessing a football game- even Jackson wanted to watch. (Heidi's dog)










The only sad part about this picture is that we're missing a very important member of our family: Emma!!! (Trav's fiance) Trent had been taking a nap and clearly was not excited about being woken up to take a picture- his expression is classic.My mom and I drove to LAX a few days after Christmas to search for my missing luggage because Delta had no idea where the bags were. We walked right in to the baggage claim and found them sitting in a corner! It was so fun to finally be the "gift giver" rather than just receiver. Did you notice Vander's injury from my nightmare babysitting experience? Luckily the fat lip went away a few days later, as did the mondo size gash above his lip.
One of my presents from Heidi was a ticket to see the musical Wicked so we had a "girls night out" and me, my mom and Heidi drove to LA and were awed by this amazing performance. (for those of you who don't know what "Wicked" is about, before you start judging us let me explain- it is the story of the witches from The Wizard of Oz before the whole "Dorothy and Todo" events.)Even Heidi loved it although she had never seen "The Wizard of Oz"- I know, who hasn't seen that movie? After we took the following picture, security yelled, "NO PICTURES!!!" whoops. At least they didn't make me erase the picture like they did at the Statue of Liberty. I took a picture of the "air puffer" which you had to walk through to check for bomb-making chemicals and blew your hair back. My iron well friends and I found it hilarious but when I took the picture, a very rude security woman came and took my camera and made me delete the picture so I couldn't give it to terrorists. I guess it makes sense but I hate the feeling of getting in trouble. Anyways, back to Wicked. The singing, costumes, sets, and story were all fabulous but the most memorable moment came at intermission when Heidi fell down the stairs and even the people around her couldn't help but laugh. (yes I notice my awkward arm placement in the picture)A few days after Christmas, Heidi, my mom and I went to Emma's bridal shower and had a blast. Her sisters were all in town and threw her an evening shower with AMAZING desserts. Not only was there a chocolate fountain, there was also a caramel fountain!!! I was in heaven! When they brought the cake around, I was still working on my 4Th plate of dessert but gladly accepted the cake as well. (no wonder I've had 5 root canals and a gazillion cavities) The shower was especially fun since I got to see a bunch of my aunts and cousins. Due to the traveling disasters, I missed the Christmas get-together with my extended family so it was perfect that I got to see all the females a few days later. I was thrilled in talking with my cousin Kristen who is planning on coming to visit the Iris Orphanage near my house in Mozambique! Emma was radiant as ever and it was so fun getting to talk to her sisters and family. She now has 5 sisters! I am so glad Trav picked a girl who fits so perfectly in our family and is such a joy to be around.












A few days following the shower, Emma, her mom and sisters, her nieces and her sisters-to-be (Heidi and I) picked out bridesmaid dresses. This process never gets old. I've acquired quite a collection now and each dress reminds me of how much I love and appreciate each friend. One of my favorite games is picking out the most horrendous dresses possible. Here we are at the shop. Emma's nieces are absolutely adorable and were so much fun to play with. Yes, I prefer playing with kids than trying on clothes.

While home, of course I saw plenty of basketball. We watched the boys play at Azusa and the highlight may have been when Vander walked to center court at half time, sat down, and started bobbing and swaying to the music. (continue to pray that he got his dad's rthymn) Then when Heidi and I went to watch the Azusa girls, we had another memorable Vander moment but not so sweet. It's tough to explain but basically Vander (while fully supervised by Heidi and myself) ended up hanging upside down by one foot from the bleachers! Heidi and I were at an awkward angle to grab him but a man was standing right underneath him just facing the other way. To get his attention I screamed like I used to when in "help side defense" " HELP! HELP! HELP!" Apparently my panicked and loud scream got my dad's attention and he turned from the bench where he was coaching and ran towards Vander. The man had grabbed the poor guy by the time my dad reached the scene (which was in like 1.6 seconds- he's still got quite the reflexes!) but since the coach suddenly ran to the bleachers, thee ENTIRE gym looked over and saw Van hanging precariously from the bleachers. Towards the end of my stay, we returned to APU to watch the Azusa girls play again. This time I was accompanied by my friend Gregg and the ever-hilarious Butlers. Katie is one of the wittiest people I know and she married a man just as witty so I love every chance I have to hang out with them. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my camera to the game but saw the following picture on Azusa's website. Do you see Katie, Cameron, Gregg and myself? My final basketball outing was when Stefanie and I went to a Laker game! She gave me tickets for Christmas and we had a blast although we didn't pay super close attention to the game. (note to self: stop saying "blast") I think we both were more excited about the food and the environment than the actual game. We had one very blonde moment which I suppose I should take the blame for. To get to our seats we had to take an elevator so I pushed the button (apparently not hard enough) and then we proceeded to wait for the elevator. We waited for about 5 minutes and a crowd began to form waiting for the elevator. One guy then walked past us and hit the button and the doors immediately opened! The waiting girls laughed with us while the men shook their heads in annoyance.

I'm quite the homebody so I really enjoyed just being at home and eating and talking with the fam. In the picture to the left Heidi and I both acquired sore throats and were drinking nasty, medicated tea while sitting on the kitchen floor. Can't quite remember why we chose to sit there. I would like to say that I knew my mom was taking the picture and chose to make the ugly face but no, that is a genuine, candid ugly face I am giving to Jackson. In the picture to the right you will a witness a nearly weekly tradition at the Hardeman household: Taco feast! Unlike most people, we use pork and beans instead of refried and it makes a huge difference. I missed these tacos so much! Apparently Emma's taco was telling her a joke.During my trip, I went to the movies more often than many probably go during an entire year and saw some winners and some losers. (referring to movies, not people) Some memorable moments include:
* going to see The Great Debaters with Gregg and my brothers and being the only people in the theater except for 2 other people. During the love scene Trav ripped one so loud the other people couldn't stop laughing as well.
* moving-hopping with Stefanie.
* Being thee only people in the theater with Emma, Heidi and my mom when watching Enchanted until a herd of 12 year old girls joined us.
* going to see I Am Legend with Gregg so we could spy on Trent and accidentally spying on Trent's clone instead. (this guy seriously looked exactly like Trent)
Along with seeing movies, another favorite activity of mine is having game nights. We played Dance Dance Revolution and Wii games so much that I actually got sore! Megan introduced us to my new favorite game which involves charades, memory, and taboo strategies. We played this game until the wee hours of the morning (I've always wanted to say that) and the most memorable moment was when Sarah was trying to describe Pontias Pilate and thought he must have invented pilates and pronounced his name "pont-e-ous pe-laut-ees." In her defense, his name is spelled strange.

While I was home, of course I stuffed my face with every favorite dish imaginable. There just weren't enough days to taste everything though. I did get to partake in Frescas 99 cent Chicken Taco Tuesdays and thoroughly enjoyed every bite. I forced myself to eat donuts although I was never hungry for them but I knew I would crave them again when in Africa and I ate more candy than Willie Wonka.
I spent as much time as possible hanging out with my adorable little nephew. When he wasn't busting open his lip or hanging from bleachers, we had some fun times. I went with him and Heidi to his Gymboree class and had a blast (need a synonym for this word!) watching him play with all the toys and other kids. The teacher of the class reminded me of a human version of Barney so I was a little freaked out by him but Vander seemed to enjoy himself. The first picture I've entitled "Lady in Red." get it? The second picture is called, "big chicken" and the third picture is "cell phone junkie." It's so cute how he knows how to hold on to a phone. (even funnier is the fact that a few days ago he threw Heidi's I-phone into the toilet!)
How stinking cute is this guy??? Unfortunately it appears that he may have inherited the infamous Hardeman toes. My mom would have freaked out if she had been home when Dan was "playing" with Vander by tossing him in the air! He loved it though and it is so fun to watch Dan and Van together- they're constantly giggling.



















I'm writing this entry from Mozambique, still pondering how both worlds feel like home to me although they are so different. As I thought about where "home" is, God reminded me that although I do have homes here on earth and am immensly blessed, I shouldn't get too comfortable and cannot forget where my true home is. I wish that I had the perspective every moment of every day that I my time here on earth should be lived as a "stranger" since my true home is in heaven. There are times in Mozambique and in California when I feel a longing- not to be in another country but for something better- something that earth cannot offer. I wish I had this longing for heaven all the time but I confess I often forget about my true home and get so consumed with my life here on earth. My prayer is that I would constantly be looking toward heaven, longing for it, and treat my time on earth as it is: temporary. One of my favorite passages is Hebrews 11:13-16 when the author is discussing the hall of famers for faith:

"All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to reture. Instead, they were longing for a better country- a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them."

Before playing basketball games at Westmont, I would always listen to my "pump up" music which included Steven Curtis Chapman. Yes, I'm old school and got teased plenty for it. I would often listen to the following song, "Not Home Yet" to calm me down so I wouldn't freak out about playing bad. When I remember that while I'm on earth, I am not truly home yet, the problems of this world seem much smaller. Please pray that I would daily be reminded that I am NOT HOME YET!!!

To all the travelers
Pilgrims longing for a home
From one who walks with you
On this journey called life's road
It is a long and winding road

From one who's seen the view
And dreamt of staying on the mountains high
And one who's cried like you
Wanting so much just to lay down and die
I offer this, we must remember this

We are not home yet
We are not home yet
Keep on looking ahead
Let your heart not forget
We are not home yet
Not home yet

So close your eyes with me
And hear the Father saying, "welcome home"
Let us find the strength
In all His promises to carry on
He said, "I go prepare a place for you"
So let us not forget

We are not home yet
We are not home yet
Keep on looking ahead
Let your heart not forget
We are not home yet
We are not home yet
Keep on looking ahead
Let your heart not forget
We are not home yet

I know there'll be a moment
I know there'll be a place
Where we will see our Saviour
And fall in His embrace
So let us not grow weary
Or too content to stay
'Cause we are not home yet
We are not home yet
Not home yet
So let us journey on

We are not home yet
We are not home yet
Keep on looking ahead
Let your heart not forget
We are not home yet
Not home yet

The God of Africa is the God of America/When Did Bob Barker Retire?

When I returned home from India, I experienced a severe case of "reverse culture shock" where I felt completely out of place in America. One day it was so bad, I went to 7 11 specifically so I could talk to Indians and ended up befriending Sharma, the cutest little old man who works there and still will talk with me about India. (I realize that I was falling prey to stereotypes when I thought, "hmmm...where can I find Indians? I know...7 11" but all the workers were in fact Indian so does that still make me a racist?) I was fearful that coming back from Mozambique, I would again suffer from "reverse culture shock" and struggle to enjoy my short time here. Therefore, I was quite surprised to discover that it feels like Mozambique was a dream and I had only been gone for a weekend. God definitely has been doing a number on me while in Africa, but I don't feel like I've returned home as a different person. My perspective of God, the world and myself has changed, but I'm still quirky Katie and I guess I had imagined I would have matured into a sophisticated, well-mannered traveler...but I haven't. It truly is bizarre how normal it feels to be back in California running with my sister, going to movies and basketball games, eating my favorite meals, watching TV and playing games with my family. (warning: if you ever partake in the "WII Olympic games" your arms will hurt for days- who knew video games could be such a work out?) I was telling a friend at church about this odd phenomena and she pointed out that it is a blessing from God to be able to jump in and out of two very different worlds and feel at home in both. Truly it is a blessing which I am very grateful for. I think part of the reason I'm not suffering from reverse culture shock like I had before is because I had more time in Africa to think about the great things in America that I missed and thus, gained a greater appreciation for our great country. I have a new appreciation for being able to drink the tap water, for toilet seat covers (I am big believer in contagious butt germs and refuse to sit on public seats without some protection), for driving whenever and wherever I want, for cool crisp air, for slurpees (I craved these often in Mozambique and never found an equivalent) and a new appreciation for American food! I love that we have such a wide variety of food and that restaurants serve soda in ginormous glasses with free refills. (sadly, I feel queasy after most meals since my stomach is still adjusting and I couldn't even finish a Brea's Best Cheeseburger the other day...it was a very sad day)

I also have a new appreciation for American culture. I love that I can be standing in line to buy a burrito and see people from 12 different countries waiting in line with me. (I really missed the diversity that we have especially here in California. It's also been nice blending in a bit without everyone starting at me because of my skin. They may stare because I'm wearing my pajamas in public but at least it's not because I'm white.) I love that Americans are loud and although at times deemed "obnoxious" by other nations, I love how friendly they/we can be with strangers. I like how we do things quickly, efficiently and with a purpose and that we have organized systems like parking garages and airports. (I've oft been accused of walking like an "American" because apparently I walk like I own the street but really I'm just walking with a purpose and making sure muggers aren't following me.) I like that people follow the traffic laws most of the time, that every policeman isn't out to get a bribe, and that smoking is outlawed practically everywhere. I LOVE that when we meet people, we shake hands instead of the kiss on the cheek. I am still quite far from perfecting this "kissing greeting" and the complicated hand-slapping/grabbing routine that the younger Mozambicans do and have loved being able to just shake people's hands here. This may be a bit off topic but I have to share another passage from To Hate Like This Is to Be Happy Forever which made me laugh out loud as my students were taking a test.

" As a white man of a certain age, I probably had no business attempting the new black handshakes. I probably should have settled for the straightforward satisfactions of an Anglo-Saxon squeeze. Or, at the very most, a simple high-five. Better to succeed unnoticed at a classic than fail ignominiously at the snazzy baroque of hip-hop. The last time I had the proper sequence of showing love down was 25 or 30 years ago when the expression didn't even exist and I had black friends with whom I slapped hands and traded friendly insults every day in school. My life had become considerably more Caucasian since then. And this meant trouble when it came to fashionable forms of Negro greeting, because, as the late Richard Pryor once put it, 'The brothers are always changing the handshake every six months just so white people can't get the hang of it.'"

Although it feels like I never left, there are however, several indicators that I've been gone for a significant chunk of time. Vander of course is the largest of these. Pun intended. It has been so fun getting to know him but kind of bittersweet knowing that I'll be leaving again and we'll have to get reacquainted in the summer. This little guy is so precious, constantly exploring and laughing and sharing his food. He's walking like a champ (by champ I mean he does a fabulous "drunk swagger" and keeps his hands ready at any moment to fall) and walking everywhere looking for mischief. I was pretty much traumatized when I was babysitting him and he fell down one step, hit his mouth on a chair and his mouth started gushing blood. Yes, gushing. He stuck his little hands in his mouth, thus covering both hands in blood and then sneezed when I picked him up, leaving my face speckled with his blood. He acquired a killer fat lip from the fall which I fear may never go away and now has quite the gash above his lip. Heidi told me I should have taken a picture, "It would have been a great one for the blog" she said. Ummm....sure Heidi, except I thought I going to have to call 9-1-1 and was not thinking about my blog at that moment.

Other indicators that I've been gone:

* Drew Carey now hosts The Price is Right. Random. This was quite disturbing and when I asked, "Where's Bob???" My sweet brothers told me he died which made me very sad. (turns out they were lying, he just retired)

* Golden Spoon accepts credit cards and Jamba Juice added several new smoothie flavors. (I just returned from there actually and had an awkward encounter with a past student who is now in college. It was awkward because I look like a homeless woman right now. It's a new look I'm trying to pass off as trendy/ I'm too lazy to change out of my sweats)

*I occasionally say "Desculpe and "Obrigada" to strangers winning me some very odd looks.

*I only recognize 2 of the Lakers including the coach.

* My cat gained 20 pounds and my dog's hair turned almost completely white.

I was sitting in church with my parents last Sunday, marveling at how just 2 weeks ago I was sitting in church on the other side of the world with a bunch of orphan boys. As we stood and sang worship songs, I thought about how 2 weeks ago I was rocking out with a bunch of kids, dancing like crazy in the aisles to the worship songs. As the offering plates were passed, I thought about how the entire congregation files to the front of the church to drop off their offering to God although they have so little. As the sermon was preached, I thought about how 2 weeks ago the sermon was more "yelled" than preached and in Portuguese. The services are dramatically different but we are worshiping the same God. God is the same in America as He is in Africa. He's just as powerful, He's just as big, He's just as active. So although Maputo is worlds different from Brea, God is the same and this common denominator has made it much easier to enjoy both worlds.

In the midst of Christmas shopping, packing, and running from muggers, I didn't have time to write about my last experience at the Iris orphanage so I'll give you another glimpse into this other world I will be returning to in a week.

The weekend was full of fun and surreal moments. Lindsay and I met up with a group of short-term missionaries who had come into the city for lunch so we could hitch a ride with them back to Iris. I was feeling a bit anti-social and well, quite honestly, the short-terms were obnoxious so when the group headed for the tables inside where there is air conditioning, we slid into a table in the scorching heat and enjoyed lunch at one of my favorite spots called Surf. In the picture I made Lindsay stand on the platform so I wouldn't feel like such a giant which is why we are laughing and our photographer (a boy from the orphanage) doesn't believe in counting to three.
When we arrived at the orphanage we went to the "baby house" where the 2 year olds and younger live. I knew we were in for an overwhelming afternoon when we stepped through the door and were immediately surrounded by toddlers pulling on our legs, lifting their arms, begging to be held. At one point I was holding a child with each arm and had a feisty one on my back while several others clung to my legs. I have never experienced such a raw hunger for love and attention. Here are a few pictures to try to show you a bit of the chaotic nature of playing with all these precious children at one time.

There was one moment when I was chasing about 15 kids around the playground, they were all screaming and sprinting away from me, falling all over each other and laughing hysterically when I felt like I was in a dream. I am so blessed that God would bring me here to experience this- to feel this kind of joy.
The boy in the picture above is one who gripped my heart. Little Tito is 2 years old and not only is he HIV positive, he suffered from an unknown disease at birth so he can't communicate well and has no balance so he is constantly falling over. He was one of the first to latch on to my leg and he refused to let go until we left. By the time Lindsay and I had helped feed some of the kids dinner and get undressed for baths, we were exhausted! I have never had the energy sucked out of me so quickly. We met up with Adrian and Vogner, two of the high school boys, and walked to the nearby shop and drank cokes while watching the cars drive by and recooperating.

Another surreal moment came when we into the main room with the boys and found a room full of young boys watching Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith music videos which were projected on a large screen. We sat and enjoyed the familiar music and had to laugh at the surreal nature of the moment- sitting with about 100 orphan boys in Africa, watching Jeremy Camp on a large screen though most of the boys don't speak English.

The following Sunday morning held a few more surreal moments for us. I love going to church at this orphanage partly because it is so fun to see the kids rock out to the music. We went to the "mosh pit" in the front to dance with the kids and I ended up in a circle dancing with girls who are not orphans. It's easy to distinguish between the orphans and city kids because the city kids are filthy and not as light-hearted. I joined a circle with about 5 of these girls from the city and had more fun than I've ever had dancing. (It's no secret that I have zero rhythm and don't dance often but this was a great occasion for dancing without inhibition)

After our dance/worship session I took my seat next to Marcos. This boy was so sweet and though he doesn't speak English we found ways to communicate.
During the service the sky opened and there was a sudden downpour and we quickly discovered that there was a giant hole in the tin roof which just happened to be located directly above us. In the middle of the sermon there was one scream and suddenly me and about 50 others had jumped to our feet and were fleeing from the waterfall coming down from the ceiling. We moved benches around while the older boys tackled the leak by filling numerous large trash cans with rain and the pastor went right on preaching although most people were a tiny bit distracted by the waterfall.

Click here to watch a video clip of the sermon in the midst of the chaos.

Once we were resettled and dry, I sat looking out the door at the deluge, thinking, "In one week, I will be at church in Brea which feels like a land from my dreams right now." As I sit at my home in Brea and reminisce about those many "surreal moments," it seems so odd Africa feels like the dream now.